Bigger than those little cymbals Hari Krishnas wear on their fingers, the Marzipan Dildos are currently shaking little drops of wee onto every corner of this prison. Like a crack troupe of dogs with the mange, a few little drops are being squeezing out on every cell door, throughout the yard, the benchpress, the infirmary, and onto the rim of all those energy drinks you're hoarding. Cheers!

What Sonny Barger, the original President of the Hells Angels Oakland Chapter said of the Marzipan Dildos in his memoir. 

"Sure, I led an outlaw motorcycle gang based on the savage philospophy of Gengkis Khan, but these Dildo's... I'd ride a vespa before understanding how these people tick, what they are capable of. I hear them cocking their legs or squatting, then the trickle. It's unnerving'.

Cover your eyes friends but make no mistake, expect the dribble.

That is all.

-No vacancies right now. An opening hopefully within the next week. Serious applicants only-

best of luck friend

We scoff at luck and rely on pure bad-assery and all around sheer awesomeness. What the tip is trying to saying we will be having an opening for a raider trainer shortly.