Juice_Lucy picked up to a very calm Lil_Scrappy. Juice_Lucy calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths shudder before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually indiscriminately shudder *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Lil_Scrappy. Why was Juice_Lucy trying to distract Lil_Scrappy? Because she had snuck out from Lil_Scrappy's with the dildo only three days prior. It was a saucy little dildo... how could she resist?

You guys seen jackass 3? Laugh my ass off when they had the midget fight

It didn't take long before Lil_Scrappy got back to the subject at hand: his dildo. Juice_Lucy yawned. Relunctantly, Juice_Lucy invited him over, assuring him they'd find the dildo. Lil_Scrappy grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Juice_Lucy realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the dildo and she had to do it carefully. She figured that if Lil_Scrappy took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), she had take at least ten minutes before Lil_Scrappy would get there. But if he took the Duffle Bag? Then Juice_Lucy would be ridiculously screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Juice_Lucy was interrupted by five selfish platypuss that were lured by her dildo. Juice_Lucy sneezed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling displeased, she deftly reached for her dangerous oil-soaked rag and fearlessly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Duffle Bag rolling up. It was Lil_Scrappy.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Texaco to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Lil_Scrappy was out of the Duffle Bag and went sassily jaunting toward Juice_Lucy's front door. Meanwhile inside, Juice_Lucy was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the dildo into a box of potatos and then slid the box behind her rhinocerus. Juice_Lucy was pleased but at least the dildo was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Juice_Lucy wildly purred. With a deft push, Lil_Scrappy opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish genocidal maniac in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala),' he lied. 'It's fine,' Juice_Lucy assured him. Lil_Scrappy took a seat exotically proximate to where Juice_Lucy had hidden the dildo. Juice_Lucy belched trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Lil_Scrappy was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Juice_Lucy noticed a dimwitted look on Lil_Scrappy's face. Lil_Scrappy slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Juice_Lucy felt a stabbing pain in her double chin when Lil_Scrappy asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the dildo right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Lil_Scrappy's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's bananas from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Lil_Scrappy nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Juice_Lucy could react, Lil_Scrappy aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The dildo was plainly in view.

Lil_Scrappy stared at Juice_Lucy for what what must've been two seconds. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, Juice_Lucy groped exotically in Lil_Scrappy's direction, clearly desperate. Lil_Scrappy grabbed the dildo and bolted for the door. It was locked. Juice_Lucy let out a electric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Lil_Scrappy,' she rebuked. Juice_Lucy always had been a little clueless, so Lil_Scrappy knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Juice_Lucy did something crazy, like... start chucking dull pencils at her or something. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, he gripped his dildo tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Juice_Lucy looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Lil_Scrappy. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Lil_Scrappy. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Juice_Lucy walked over to the window and looked down. Lil_Scrappy was gone.

Originally posted by Zanej

I found Moe, trying to fit in shes not a midget and didn't have a duffle bag but shes trying

EDIT: I found her

GET YO MOMMA OUT THIS THREAD THAT BITCH UGLY

Just yonder, Lil_Scrappy was struggling to make his way through the magical cornfield behind Juice_Lucy's place. Lil_Scrappy had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral platypuss suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the dildo. One by one they latched on to Lil_Scrappy. Already weakened from his injury, Lil_Scrappy yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of platypuss running off with his dildo.

About two hours later, Lil_Scrappy awoke, his prostate throbbing. It was dark and Lil_Scrappy did not know where he was. Deep in the mysterious secret vineyard, Lil_Scrappy was very lost. Before anyone could take off their pants, he remembered that his dildo was taken by the platypuss. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a bloated platypus emerged from the foxy forest. It was the alpha platypus. Lil_Scrappy opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the platypus sunk its teeth into Lil_Scrappy's double chin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Lil_Scrappy's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

YOU BITCHES ARE PATHETIC TRYIN TO PULL A SNAKEMAN...FUCKIN LAME

Originally posted by rjp123

Originally posted by Zanej

I found Moe, trying to fit in shes not a midget and didn't have a duffle bag but shes trying

EDIT: I found her

GET YO MOMMA OUT THIS THREAD THAT BITCH UGLY

oooooooooooh good one!!!!1!